How to recognise self-doubt and what you can do about it.

So today’s topic is self-doubt.

And in my world of helping women and teens to develop more confidence, this is one of the *big weeds* that I pull out, in order for them to experience the kind of confidence they want to feel and express.

You see when we are sitting in the emotion of self-doubt and all of the strings that come attached to that, it can really hold us back in life.

Some of the ‘physical strings’ attached to self doubt include:

  • Churning in your stomach
  • Headaches
  • Muscle tightness
  • Tightness in your jaw
  • Blushing with embarrassment
  • Not being able to look people in the eye

And some of the ‘action based’ strings attached to self-doubt include:

  • Not showing up for important things
  • Not wanting to socialise with others
  • Not going for that job or promotion
  • Not signing up for that class you’ve been wanting to do
  • Not having the conversation you’ve been wanting to have
  • Not asking for the pay rise
  • Not buying that outfit
  • Asking other people for their opinion all the time
  • Not being able to make a decision
  • Ruminating over decisions you have made
  • Second guessing yourself all the time

You see what I mean and I have no doubt you may have others to add to the list, or may recognise some of these in yourself.

Maybe some of those physical sensations are coming up for you right now?

Maybe you’re putting some shame on yourself for feeling this way?

Maybe you feel triggered by some of what I’m saying?

Maybe you’re in denial of these things?

Maybe you’ve just accepted that’s “who you are”, that you’ve always been this way and you always will be?

But that’s actually not true.

You haven’t always been this way, have you?

I mean you weren’t born this way, you became this way.

Somewhere along the line you’ve had an experience and no doubt many experiences followed that first experience, where you began to doubt yourself.

You began to question yourself and your ability to make good choices.

You began to question your capability.

You started to compare yourself to others all of the time.

You found it hard to make decisions.

You question your decisions and choices.

You started asking other people all the time “What would you do?”

And what lies beneath this Self-Doubt are scars.

Moments in time that have created a wound that sits inside of you unhealed.

It’s from that wound that you experience this Self Doubt.

And what often lies beneath the weed that is self-doubt are roots like:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I don’t trust myself
  • I don’t belief in myself
  • I’m not worthy
  • I’m not loveable
  • I’ll make a mistake and people will reject me again
  • I’ll make a mistake and people will judge me again
  • I’ll make the wrong choice and people will laugh at me

So now that I’ve given you a bit of an outline as to how this weed grows and how it may be showing up in your life, what can you about it?

If you want the to eradicate self-doubt quickly at the root-cause, then come and jump on the RTT pathway with me and within just 1-2 sessions and 3-4 weeks of integration work, together we will:

  • Identify the root cause of your self doubt
  • Pull the weeds and eradicate all of the ‘stories’ that you have programmed your mind to believe
  • Create space for self confidence to blossom.

And it will!

But if you’re not willing to jump in the Express Lane with me, then you can try these strategies first and see how they work for you

Grab a notepad and a pen and I want you to answer these questions.

When do I experience self-doubt?

What are the key triggers for my self-doubt?

How often do I experience self-doubt?  Daily, Weekly, Monthly, is there a pattern?

How do I know that I’m doubting myself?

How does it show up in my life?

What does self-doubt feel like?

What are the consequences of my self doubt? 

What am I missing out on?

How long has this been an issue?

Other than you, who is this impacting on?

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being unbearable, how much pain is this creating in your life?

And on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being Life Changing, what would it be like if you could remove this feeling of Self-Doubt from your life?

If self-doubt wasn’t in my life, what could I replace it with?

What’s one step I can take towards to remove self-doubt?

Take the time to answer these questions and unpack this for yourself.  Sometimes we’re not even aware how much something is impacting on us, because we’ve been living that way for such a long time and just think thats ‘normal’ for us.

So make the time now to examine this closely.

Once you’ve answered the questions, then spend some time reflecting on what you need to do from here.

I’d love to know what your key takeaways are from this activity. Feel free to drop it in the comments below, or if you’d like to explore this further with me, here’s your invitation to get on a free Clarity Call with me today.

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